No contact parents reddit I softened up a bit and called him last year. I was looking into college -- but I am no contact with my parents. I think I'll be fine as I haven't felt too bad with no contact. Wow. Best decisions I ever made. ” “Can I tell you how great it was to skip out on my first Thanksgiving?” one woman who no longer speaks with her parents told me. I decided my parents loved their house and rules more than any relationship with me. But yeah, the things I would go I went no contact cold Turkey one day and never looked back. They're not dead I just do not speak to them. No linking to Facebook pages. Your best life is on the other side of your no contact journey. It’s really a case by case thing. We sent emails to our parents outlining why we were unhappy and wouldn't be contacting them. i’m so sorry you’re A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. Do not disrespect your child. She was rude, violent, she would gaslight & she was every kind of abusive. I went no contact with my uncle when he fat shamed me in his home and that I walked on eggshells while staying in his home. I have not been claimed as a dependent since 2019. its your choice, at some point you chose YOU. Not ex-family, but I had gone no-contact with a friend, until he called me out of the blue last year to tell me he had terminal cancer. . I'll hop off my soapbox now. I have endless horror stories. Reddit has made it clear they will replace moderators if they remain private. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact With me, I went no contact with my parents and although they did try to carry the “caring” facade, they haven’t contacted me at all in going no contact. He tells them not to respond to the stalker in any way. So maybe if you do want to go no contact for yourself. No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. No contact is amazing, its freeing, its your life back. I equate someone violating a no contact request with a stalker, although some people might not. I asked my daughter if she would feel uncomfortable around him in the future, and when she said yes, I went to my sister, told her what happened, and explained our family would not spend any time with her family as long as she’s still married to Not my parents, but my grandmother. Haven't spoken since around 2019. net have some wild open letters that for me, indicate that the behaviours these parents exhibit are all the same. Making contact, acknowledging birthdays, or any form of contact is considered manipulation by the adult child. They tried to pester my in-laws to get at us (my spouse/children), but everyone held fast. I’m not going to say that this never happens, but typically “no contact” would happen after a period where no/minimal attempt is made to be supportive or at least tolerant, not because name and pronouns aren’t adhered to perfectly in the first three months after coming out, or if a parent asks questions about transition. It's been 3 years of absolutely no contact outside of her sending flying monkeys a couple Probably some kind of phone number aggregator, especially if you're still using or are listed under your original name on your number, its also possible he got one of your sibs to leak it somehow, or maybe abused concerned parent tactics on a service you use to get something, pretending mail arrived incorrectly or something, while most services She refused it all. My life has been peaceful without them in it. Both of my parents reacted in the typical fashion, my mom brought on the tears and my dad exploded. Going no contact was all that I could handle at the time without going crazy so I gradually stopped texting back or returning calls. I (28) am no contact with my father (60), it has been almost 2 years. Before No Contact there are often years or decades of complaints. Then there was the oversharing (no child should ever know details of their parents' sex lives), the infantilzatization (no 30+ year old should "have" to call their parents every time they leave their city, which I refused to do. There is no pretending when around the toxic family members, unless you are the one pretending everything is okay on Christmas. I have not been in contact with them for 18 years and they live within 2 miles of my home. I didn’t write a letter because my parents are not capable of introspection, self-reflection or empathy. I went no contact with both my very abusive, unstable and seperated parents. The steps you need to work on are your financial independence, including your own insurance, cell phone plan, etc. Members call cutting out relatives going “no contact. Instead they picked up their broken relationship with my scapegoat brother and now apparently Ive traded places with the original scapegoat. He's about 70 now and I suppose this will happen at some point. I just stumbled onto /justNOMIL. Parents seem to believe that they are Creators, therefore endowed with special powers. What caused you to go NC? Like, for example, my biological parents divorced back in 2009 and haven't really spoken to my biological father for nearly 15 years or more. Since, 2021, I have been in a low/no-contact situation with my mother due to her drug use. the hoarder chose the hoard, you get to choose you! I live 3 time zones away i am 99% no contact and its amazing. But my actual parents were child molesters, thieves and losers and there was no guarantee the future would be any different than the present or past. So to protect my family, I decided to go no contact. Last month he didn’t bother to ask me if I was okay when I said I’d been signed off work for 3 months and was struggling (I’d My youngest aunt and uncle went non contact with their mother (my grandmother), because both my grandmother and mother were narcissists and my family was very toxic. 1. No calls, no texts, nothing. (If I’m even invited. You don't need their permission to cut them off and definitely won't get their approval There's a great book by Gavin DeBecker called The Gift of Fear. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, neglect, clashes based on personalities, or value systems like religion. After that it gets easier. You’re not wrong about it. Some parents are so terrified at losing control of their kid’s lives that they will go to any length to make sure they don’t deviate from the planned paths. Stand your ground, maintain those boundaries, do not compromise if they want to "negotiate", and remember relationships are EARNED not entitled, idgaf if it's family or not. Also, keep in mind that they Here are three glaring reasons why more and more children are cutting off ties with their family members. He died in December. I cut her off when I was 13 because she decided to throw a large solid wooden dinning room chair at me because i wanted to watch anime in my own livingroom on closed captioning with headphones. In the same conversation I told them I would be going no contact and until they’d be open to attending family therapy with me, I had no interest in continuing our relationship. A common reason for estrangement I went no contact when I was 27. I tried to set up a small boundary and when they wouldn't accept that it kinda just escalated to no contact. Sure, parent verses parent is a completely different situation, but I see no reason why there should be legal requirements to see anyone else. No one bothered to pick us up at the train station not even from the buss stop to walk the ten minutes to her house. My sister blocked their contact info. There was no discussion with them about it, it just needed to happen. they’ll likely ask for you to send a letter summing up your lack of relationship. Offering money or gifts is looked at as a bribe and a form of manipulation. i went no contact with both of my parents because they were both manipulative and self-involved at their best and highly abusive at their worst. If by mail, write "return to sender" and pop in post box. Taking that choice from us is ridiculous. Work on You're not no contact with your parents if you're answering their calls. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. She contacted my employer many times to tell them how stupid they are to let me wok for them. He said he was doing "OK". ” The Reddit forum r edit: y'all can stop commenting. No texting, calling, email, etc. r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Parents are supposed to be the legal guardians and decision makers in a child's life. I know reddit hates religion but I go to a non denominational church because they contribute greatly to the surrounding communities. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact I didn't have a big blow out with my dad, but he just a bit of a jerk so after a gripe session, I went no contact. The narc ignores them. she never comes to my house unless it’s to pick something up in which case she just stands on the front porch and waits for me to fetch what she wants and leaves again (I’ve given up inviting her in. I'm back in contact in my 30s. you might also ask your dad if you can get a part-time job so you can earn $ to get your learners permit and eventually a car( or your own phone). Disclaimer: going and staying no contact is NOT easy and will cause intense mental, emotional, and relational ramifications. ), and at both services I was ignored, sneered at, glared at with rage, and more ignorant childish behavior from my siblings and their families as The reason was because they were seated badly. My husband finally saw how toxic his parents were, and unfortunately was made to choose between the family he created and the family he came from. They see themselves as perfect, you are an extension of them, and they are deaf anything you say that does not agree with their view of personal perfection. It made me really fkn sad tbh. There are some older people there who have lost their adult children and/or spouses. Posted by u/lunawillov01 - 5 votes and 2 comments I cut contact with 3 siblings. He never made me feel welcomed and didn’t even give me a hug or anything when my mom and I flew back to Chicago. They actively encourage no contact/parental alienation for the lamest reasons. They are toxic people. Mourning the parents you never had. I’m kind of NC with my parents, the only contact they have with me is that my mom will send something on my bday (something meaning stuff she doesn’t use and will pass off as a “gift” to me to clean her closet). I have receipts to prove independent living. He started deleting all e-mails after that. Contact your employer and tell them to block your parents phone number and if anyone should call asking for you, to block that number as well or tell them you don't work there. Mostly they’re afraid that if the kid « fails » No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. Was on the way for 10 hours, because no one bothered to pick us up at the airport. Block and delete. I obviously cannot file with them. do you have someone that can vouch for you being NC? an employer, etc? giving any info you can to show that you really can’t depend on your parents may qualify you for need based aid you otherwise wouldn’t be able to receive without parent info. Better to be very safe than sorry. I wouldn’t oppose her for trying to encourage low contact versus no- but at the end of the day you know what’s best for you and having that option No contact means, no phone calls, emails, texts, letters/cards. And if you can make peace with something like that, then you can make peace with My dad has been incredibly neglectful for many many years, especially when he married his wife who hates me 22 years ago. Just text or send them a letter saying that you are thinking about your own health and for you to be able to take care of yourself right now you need space and I Communities online have developed their own lingo: “LC” stands for “low contact,” “VLC” for “very low contact,” and “NC” for “no contact. Addressing no-contact parent situation on save the dates . You would usually go no-contact after this person has affected you negatively and it is ultimately better to no longer have anything to do with the person. It's possible no contact will allow them to see that when they cross your limits you are capable of leaving. Just found his obit today. That was the day we officially started No-Contact. No one knew I was pregnant. Plenty of examples of that on Reddit. Told my mom if she wants to try again she needs 6 months regular therapy. Side note OP, your parents did you a favour by going no contact, and the irony is that they will be the ones missing your family because they'll be missing their grandkids. Now I’m 24 and we are low contact. They did not respect my boundaries, of course. But no contact wouldn't mean I don't love them. I went to the Netherlands. Or check it out in the app stores No contact parents big mad (rant) SMS I (F22) went no contact last year after enduring extremely detrimental psychological abuse throughout my entire childhood. I want to support my sibling as best I can, and I know that our parent will put up a huuuuuge fight to try and get me to get in the middle of it. For a full list of our rules/more information, click here. No one in my family has passed yet, but I’ve gone through a similar thought process about whether or not I would attend their funerals. Now I'm sad. Not to sound like an angsty teen, but no one asked to be born. Obligatory disclaimer throwaway account for privacy reasons. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Sent a short email to let Nmom and Edad know, then blocked them from responding back to my email. I went no contact with my female parent over 10 years ago and I'm here partly because it's just really nice to have a space where it's not weird to be estranged from a parent and partly because I want to be the person who has been there and done that who I really could have used when I was thinking about going no contact. Maybe since you are 16, you could use Uber or Lyft to go hang out with your friends ( you say parents are generous with $). The miniscule amount of guilt I might have at some point is no where the amount of stress and anger I had when I was contact. That way they know you aren't missing. She made it awful almost immediately both times. If you have no contact with your parents and don’t know where they live, or you’ve left home due to an abusive situation, select “Yes” to the “Do unusual circumstances prevent the student from contacting their parents or would contacting their parents pose a risk to the student?” question on the 2024–25 FAFSA form. No contact w ur sis is ok, but i won't recommend no contact to ur parents coz it will eat at you mentally. We all want our parents love and acceptance, but no parent can be better than one that hurts us. had a chat and This is the #1 tip here, to me. i'm sorry you all do not think i am trying enough, but i really am. I did so much therapy though. i'm sorry if y'all think that's me being too young, needing to grow up, needing attention, or being a A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. There are some really heinous, hateful, vicious women out there. I went no contact with my parents about a month or two ago. It's probable it won't. No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. Always hoping it will work out this time, but often being wrong. I miss my dad but my parents haven’t missed a beat. I did not. For context I am the last of 7 siblings - Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. i have received enough of the same replies that i have already tried, but thank you. I've been Not my parents though, my mom’s normal and my dad passed away. I know it helped my relationship with my dad. Block all means of communication. Hello! I have a sibling who is going no-contact with a parent that I remain in contact with. What happened was I “ran away” at 22 years old. Haven't spoken to my so-called father in 6 years. Since than, I have achieved more in that 5 years than in 27 years under her thumb. She never went but I lifted NC twice. It's making me think twice about the (very few other) no-contacts I've done. I am a college student in my early 20s, with asian and conservative (both socially and religously) parents. ) My issues with my parents have unfortunately spread to my extended family, and I’ve gone no contact with everyone. Everything has been decided just by moment to moment what feels okay and what I can handle. He never physically harmed us (myself and my 2 siblings (27 You can’t go no contact with people you live with. I put filters in my email so it gets bounced with a letter that says you aren't to talk to me, you’re a bad person, and this is why. Toxic Or Abusive Parenting. I’m low contact instead of no contact, but I have been increasing that contact. She always says no). First, I went NC over 10 years ago. My parents had planned to come see my family on a road trip, and I asked them to cancel. I am not grieving. Block them online and ALL the Flying monkeys, low contact "offline", get support from a good therapyst, get a circle of people (family or friends) that you feel safe. “I There are sad parents, angry no contact Redditors, an underserved middle group who potentially want reconciliation, and the psychologists trying to reach out and restore those If contact from your parents makes you this anxious, I think going no contact will allow you to regain your equilibrium and start to heal the damage they caused. I have been living on my own since I was 18. There is an uptick in going no-contact with parents simply because you can now I am a 28yo female who has had a difficult relationship with my parents for my entire life. In one chapter he talks about people being stalked. I wonder about the parents who weren’t alienated by an ex-spouse, but by the grown child’s new wife or husband. Gransnet and rejected parents. I went no contact for 9 months when I was 21. No one knew about my mother being the way she is Work was my safe place. Any form of contact is disrespectful. It's never on them. Now she starts texting my wife, who she agreed not to contact, and who I specifically asked her not to contact. No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. It was an eye opener. I haven't spoken to my mother in almost 15 years. I went no contact 6 years ago. TLDR: stop doubting your desire to go no contact and work on coming to terms with what this means for you. You are completely insignificant in their eyes. I'm lower contact with my parents and no contact with my sister. it's hard to go no contact with the only parent i have. I've more or less adopted them. sometimes there is just no choice to go no contact otherwise the toxicity will just pass down from generation to generation. The therapist told me this was really unusual behaviour for a parent. I have told her (NMom), over and over again, since Feb of 2013 to not contact me, that there is no reconciliation. No smoke signals or drums. I’ve been no contact with my parents and sister since February and haven’t seen them since September (when they confirmed - through their actions, in my mind, that they didn’t care about me or my partner of 9+ years). Even to get to the point to feel like I could stand going no contact with my father especially was difficult. I don't remember making the decision of going no contact but it seemed as though the divorce sealed the deal in Contact the police and tell them peoe or family may come asking about you. It was just stressful being around him. So tho we alll moved out, i still visit them regularly, solve their issues when they ask for it, and give basic allowance. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact I'm proud of you, it's not easy! My stepdaughter has been no contact/low contact with her egg donor (her words) for years. Contact will be interpreted as harassment. No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). OP, contact your school. I have recently made the decision to go no contact, and even though it’s my choice, internally I feel like I am grieving a huge loss. My parents enable my sister I only found out about these forums last week while googling how a parent reacts to a child going no contact. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact Especially if the parents don't want that contact. It was very painful but needed. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact I went (first my mom's death then 10 months later my ex-husband and son's father passed suddenly. You are a mere rock in your child’s minds. Narcs often have mind blindness end can not see you point of view, even if you give them 1000 essays on what they are doing wrong. I always see a lot of great suggestions on here for wording sensitive messages and now is the time for me to ask for advice as well! I have been no-contact No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). My parents enlisted (or hired) people to find us. He never physically harmed us (myself and my 2 siblings (27 & 25)), but the mental scars and trauma are evident. I was most definitely 'parentified' by my parents and often used as a mediator I would make the choice to go no contact if my adult children made heinous decisions or if the relationship is so toxic that space, not closeness, is needed to repair it. I also assume she is unemployed and I have no idea how to include this on the form. My sister’s husband spoke to my middle school daughter in in a sexually inappropriate way at a family wedding, he’d been drinking. This parent does not respect or understand boundaries, and will not think they did anything wrong. I opted for a succinct text message with my boundaries; do not visit me, do not contact me by any means, through any channel. A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. I haven't spoken to my bio father in almost five years now. No pure image posts. Keeping in contact with my abusive ex partner and then telling him I was getting married. Denying anything in my childhood and saying things like “well, I don’t remember it like that” Now I’m a parent I am beyond angered by their behaviour. So I moved on. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. It hasn’t been that long actually, 3 months now. Same thing for their flying monkeys, family members, mutual friends and acquaintances. No content about N-kids. I have no idea where she is located, so no current address, and due to her situation and erratic behavior, none of my family has any idea either. And they never looked back. they both also had difficult childhoods, and in turn made my childhood horrendous, and i have had what sounds like a similar trajectory to yours: the healthier i got, the less possible having relationships with them became. This subreddit is for support for those that have, or want to, go no-contact. No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. Don't waste time convincing your parents why you're going no contact either, they will see this as an invitation for their rebuttal. Often not feeding me as punishment. Reaching back out is a scary prospect. Her mother knows exactly how to draw her back in, but only to hurt her again. No dropping by. There's a lot of denial and misshapen perceptions that were clouding my judgment of how necessary and good no I have been no contact with my mother for 17 years and my father for 3 (took longer with my father as for various reasons), both for reasons of emotional, physical, sexual abuse ( this happend from the moment I was born and my father kept it going till I was 28 years old and I am 31 now. Our parents made a choice we could not ignore or support, and we didnt know how to move past this choice. Hi all, I'm new to reddit and this is my first post, but I'm hoping to get insight from those who have gone no contact with a parent. We got our first child and my mom didn't visit me. Knowing I never had to try to convince her to acknowledge me as a separate I (28) am no contact with my father (60), it has been almost 2 years. Since I was around 16/17 I have played with the idea of going no contact, that is I went very low contact with my parents once they blatantly prioritized my alcohol- and sometimes drug-addicted brother over the rest of their children and didn’t see anything I went no contact with my female parent over 10 years ago and my life is so much better without that woman in it. But damn it feels so good that I should have done this years ago. My sis was a golden child too, but my parents are still my parents. Anyway, DeBecker tells people who are being stalked to go no contact. To say he is a cruel man is an understatement. Most recently her mother didn't show up for her birthday.
bzmkjbxu cdfilr gjqz rrmtaa bxgcr pygk zlbrwh qusef lxwyq nvnepypn nzm ipuxflg oime fcas uycwyor